Elijah the Prophet
He was standing on the corner, looking lost. Glancing around quickly, almost flailing, he was clearly bothered by something. Or someone. As I crossed the street, coffee in hand, I prayed he wouldn’t notice me. Just looking at him was making me uncomfortable.
Why, though? I wasn’t afraid that he would hurt me. He didn’t look the type; he looked more scared than scary. I was just uncomfortable.
He began walking over to me, his wild gray hair and beard blowing in the wind. I felt my muscles tense up. His face said he wanted something. His mouth confirmed it. He spoke haltingly, almost stammering:
“I just yelled at my wife. I just yelled at her. What should I do?”
My gut reaction was to say Sorry, sir, I can’t help you. I need to get back to work. But I held myself back. Get back to work, yes. Doing what? Helping people.
I decided to swallow my uncomfortable feeling, to give a little. We spoke for a moment, and I helped him as much as I could. Apparently in a rush, he left abruptly, walking in the same direction I was going. I walked faster, passing him with a nod. A few seconds later, I realized that I could no longer hear his footsteps. I turned, and he was gone.
Ancient Jewish folklore tells of Elijah the Prophet. Tales are told of his mysterious appearances; he often surfaces to teach a lesson, or to administer a test of character. Assuming the appearance of a scraggly old man, he may make his subjects uncomfortable as he carries out his task. And when the deed is done, he disappears.
I don’t know who my mystery man was, but he did teach me a lesson. Why is helping people out of session so much less natural than in session? I’m not talking about being nice. I’m talking about the singular focus necessary to truly be helpful, to be there for another human being. I see so many skilled clinicians, and I’m talking about really great therapists, who are completely insensitive out of the therapy room. Why is that?
Social work is more than a job. It’s a way of life.
This post was originally posted on my NYU blog as part of the NYU Silver School of Social Work Student Blogger project. It was featured on the NYU Social Work website.