If you’ve watched a good movie or read a good novel this year, you have experienced the power of the story. A compelling narrative draws our attention, awakens our emotions, and imprints itself in our memory. This, in part, is what the Seder aims to do: dedicate time to harness the power of storytelling, connecting us emotionally to our ancestors and reinforcing in our memories our national story.
Being Jewish would make even a Buddhist monk anxious. There are so many laws and rituals that are part of our daily lives. Did you eat enough matza? Is it time for davening yet? Or worse, is it too late? Did you say the words just right, or was it slightly off? Better say it again, then.
What is fear? Is it a monster under your bed, or in the closet? Is it wide eyes, thumping heart, panicked breathing? Is it dangling off a cliff by your fingertips? Fear is all those things, and more.
Many of my clients find it helpful to identify the Shoulds in their life. “I Should be nicer to my sister”, they say. Or “I Should be skinnier”, or “I Shouldn’t have this donut”.
In my work as a psychotherapist, much energy and focus is placed on problems. I want to know what is not going well in my clients’ lives, and what they would like to change, if they could. Of course, there’s always a lot to discuss. No one walks into a psychotherapy office without problems.
We are a nation of givers. It is in our very nature, our essence, our cultural and spiritual DNA. Our communities, schools, and shuls are replete with opportunities for giving. Flip through a Jewish newspaper today and you’ll come across dozens of ads for organized giving: food for the poor, infertility treatments for those who can’t afford them, even free anonymous mental health counseling over the phone. We give time, we give money and materials, we give sweat and tears. We give and continue to give.
Life can often seem like an endless stream of tasks. We run from one to the other, finishing one only to immediately focus on the next. Sometimes we allow ourselves time to celebrate a milestone or accomplishment, sometimes not, but the upshot is that we’re always on the move, keeping our eyes on the horizon.
Have you met an idiot today? Chances are you have. How about the guy who parks in between two parking spots, or the woman who yammers on her cell phone at the library? Jerk is a nice word to use, I think. Maybe you can think of a more colorful word to use as well.
The coffee in the pot is cold. Your family is nuts. Some driver cut you off on the way to work this morning. And someone on the Internet is wrong. The day is full of annoyances at work, home, school, in the car, on the bus, train…it’s everywhere, isn’t it? Some situations are “acts of God”, like the weather, or termites; others can be blamed on man, from the abstract (think traffic) to the personal (an insult at the office).
The hike is long and grueling. It is all uphill, both ways. The mountain beckons, a narrow winding path flanked by ferns and old trees. It is nice, but it’s exhausting. When will rest come? The horizon is up ahead. Yes, that will be my goal. When I get to the horizon, I’ll be fine. But the horizon is a moving target. It moves as I do. If the horizon is my goal, I will never achieve it.
What is something that you want to change? Do you want to stop an unhealthy behavior, or maybe form a healthy habit? Maybe you want to stop gambling, start flossing, or make better eating choices.
If procrastination persists, and especially if it significantly interferes with your life, it may be time to consult a mental health professional. A therapist can help guide you through the issues that are holding you back, so that you can finally do all those things you wanted to. You can be free from the anxiety of procrastination. You can do it tomorrow. Or you can do it today.
It’s midnight before the big exam, and you’re just pulling out the book to study. The garage is full of junk, and you’ve been promising to clear it out since the Mets won the World Series. There are so many things to do, they need to get done right now, and yet they linger on the list. What’s going on here? Why can’t we just get things done?
It takes a lot of courage to walk into a therapist’s office. Many people think of asking for help for months or years before they reach out. Finally, you’ve taken that first step. Congratulations! Now, once you’re inside, how can you make the most of your experience? How can you make sure you are getting what you truly need?
Buy an iPad, download a $300 app, and hang it up on the wall of your shul. Or, at least, that’s what Moshe Berman wants you to do.
If parenting were a job, it would be the worst job ever. Long hours, bad pay, no recognition. Entry level parenting includes perks like spit-up and stinky diapers; a tenured position earns you criticism and the cold shoulder. Severance comes in the form of requests for money and brief holiday visits.
Sights and sounds from yesterday’s Fordham School of Social Service commencement: Hundreds of graduates stream in to the pompous approval of a brass quintet and the raucous reactions of a proud crowd. This is pomp and circumstance at its best.
No disrespect to sports fans, but sports discussions are not known for their wealth of theoretic wisdom. Certainly, sports are great fun, and the pull of professional sports has even the attention of the Wall Street Journal. Articles on sports are full of analysis and postgame hindsight, but rarely philosophical insight.
I saw a bus ad for The Dr. Phil Show yesterday. It had a big picture of Dr. Phil, and the tag line, “The Safe Place to Talk about Hard Things”. And I thought: Is The Dr. Phil Show good TV? Maybe.
Does it normalize mental illness and reduce the stigma of asking for help? One can hope.
Is it the safe place to talk about hard things?
No way.
There came a time in this social worker’s life when I began to need a reaffirmation. I enjoyed the work, sure. I felt fulfilled knowing that I was being helpful to other human beings on a very deep and honest level. I can’t even imagine life as a computer programmer. But, as with any job, there are difficulties.
He was standing on the corner, looking lost. Glancing around quickly, almost flailing, he was clearly bothered by something. Or someone. As I crossed the street, coffee in hand, I prayed he wouldn’t notice me. Just looking at him was making me uncomfortable.
I call him Professor Seinfeld, not Doctor Seinfeld, because that’s who he was to me. He was a teacher, an educator, a scholar of the highest caliber. I was lucky enough to enroll in his Human Behavior III class last year. From the first lesson, he took my breath away. His examples were vivid and memorable; his teaching style casual yet captivating.
Upon a midnight dark and dreary
While I typed, eyes a-bleary
Teeth a-chatter, fingers freezin’
Window up to let the breeze in
Any trick, and any way
To keep the evil sleep at bay
Have you ever tried to juggle? Try it now. Start with two balls, one in each hand. It’s like this: throw one ball, making an arc from one hand to the other. While that ball is in the air, throw the other, tracing an imaginary X with the arcing paths. Catch, catch, and you’re done.
