Yom Kippur Food for Thought

Something to chew on as the Day of Atonement nears.

Rather than focusing on specific behaviors that we should or shouldn’t be doing, let’s focus on relationships. Our default relationship with God is influenced heavily by how we were parented. Think about this for a moment. Was your upbringing fear-based or love-based? And currently, what motivates your relationship with God? Is it fear or love?

What is a fear-based relationship with God? Fear dictates that I need to do certain activities or abstain from others because I’m worried about what may happen if I don’t comply. Fear is a powerful motivator, and it can be effective.

But with fear and anxiety, there is a tipping point. When we have too much fear for too long, we enter a state of emotional exhaustion. We become numb to fear, and we lose our drive and inspiration. In extreme cases, we can develop an aversion to attempts to motivate us through fear. I believe this is one factor (among many) affecting youth at risk.

That’s where love comes in.

A love-based relationship with God is a beautiful thing to behold. We do things that God wants us to do because we love Him, and we know He loves us. Sometimes we’re not in the mood, but we muster our strength, let the love flow through us, and do that ritual we weren’t so interested in a moment ago.

Acting out of love is a beautiful thing, and also a difficult practice to maintain. Which is why we do need a certain amount of healthy anxiety mixed in with our love.

Back to the parenting comparison. Good parenting is a balance of love and limits. We need limits to survive and thrive. But we can’t sustain living within limits without the nurturing strength of love. God, as our Ultimate Parent, asks us to combine our love for Him while He holds us accountable to His limits and expectations. It’s a tall order, but we are up to the task.

This Yom Kippur, don’t focus on limits. God knows we focus on those enough. Focus instead on your love for Him, and His yearning for your allegiance.